WILDCIDE

Shortcide: Wild, Wild Wills

In today's Shortcide, we explore two outrageous real-life cases where the last wills and testaments caused chaos. First up is T.M. Zink, an Iowa attorney who left his fortune to build a women-free library, complete with “NO WOMAN ADMITTED” signs. His daughter fought back, and what unfolded was a courtroom showdown filled with legal twists and personal pettiness. Then, we head to 1920s Toronto for the bizarre Great Stork Derby, where eccentric millionaire Charles Vance Millar promised his fortune to the woman who had the most babies in ten years. What began as a prank turned into a decade-long legal and social spectacle. Tune in for a wild ride through inheritance gone hilariously wrong.  
If you want to support us, subscribe, rate and review on your favorite podcast listening app!
Want to recommend a wild case or just give us a 'hey!'? Contact us at Wildcidepodcast@gmail.com
Buy Merch!: www.wildcidepodcast.com 
Updates on Instagram: @wildcidepodcast
Facebook: Wildcide Podcast
Don’t forget Wildcide Wednesdays- new episodes drop every Wednesday at 6am EST. Interviews will drop every other Friday at 6am EST.
Background music by Brad Parsons at Train Sound Studio. Art for the podcast was created by Kelly Steen. 
​WILDCIDE Podcast and any content posted is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. 
References:
Asselin, S. V. (2020, January 12). The Great Stork Derby: When a millionaire held a baby-making race for his fortune. All That's Interesting. https://allthatsinteresting.com/great-stork-derby
Baird, C. (2023, August 1). The Great Stork Derby. Canadian History Ehx. https://canadaehx.com/2023/08/01/the-great-stork-derby/
Commonplace Fun Facts. (2024, September 21). Inside T.M. Zink’s controversial will: The curious quest to build a womanless library. https://commonplacefacts.com/2024/09/21/zink-womanless-library/
Ross, G. (2011, July 29). The Zink Womanless Library. Futility Closet. https://www.futilitycloset.com/2011/07/29/the-zink-womanless-library/

Betrayal Trauma with Dr. Jessica Lamar

Last interview, we sat down with Tamara Cooper to discuss compulsive sexual behavior. The question remained: what happens to the partners after betrayal? So this week, we sit down with Jessica Lamar, CPTT (Certified Partner Trauma Therapist) for an eye-opening conversation on betrayal trauma—the profound impact of infidelity and sex addiction on partners. Jessica brings years of clinical expertise to the table as we unpack the difference between sex addiction and infidelity, explore the trauma responses that often follow discovery, and discuss what healing actually looks like. If you've ever wondered how to support someone reeling from betrayal—or how to recognize unhealthy patterns masked as "normal"—this interview is a must-listen.
About Our Honored Guest: Jessica Lamar Psy.D, LMHC, LPC, CPTT 
Jessica, the Co-Founder and Director of Business Development and Strategy at the Bellevue Trauma Recovery Center (BTRC), holds a Doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology from the Arizona School of Professional Psychology. As a Licensed Mental Health Therapist in Washington and Colorado States, Jessica has dedicated her career to supporting individuals and families through traumatic circumstances and life-changing transitions in forensic, intensive, and outpatient settings.
Jessica’s clinical focus centers around honoring the grief process during significant life-altering changes, particularly Betrayal Trauma. She firmly believes that BTRC’s intensive trauma-informed treatment model offers a much-needed space for meaningful and supportive processing of Trauma.
Alongside her passion for education, Jessica leads webinars and engages in speaking engagements that shed light on the intersection of Disenfranchised Grief and Betrayal Trauma.
As a certified ETT therapist and a certified partner trauma therapist, Jessica utilizes an attachment-based, interpersonal therapy model to facilitate rapid trauma recovery effectively. Additionally, she possesses extensive training and experience in the treatment of problematic sexual behaviors/sex addiction, acknowledging the range of distressing and disruptive experiences that these behaviors can evoke in individuals. She believes this knowledge is essential for effectively supporting and treating individuals through a supportive recovery process from the impact of Betrayal Trauma.
As the Director of Business Development and Strategy at BTRC, Jessica focuses on cultivating community connections, providing psychoeducation to other professionals, developing plans to enhance BTRC’s overall performance, and implementing feedback to ensure the provision of effective and contemporary treatment approaches. Jessica takes pride in guiding BTRC towards evolution and growth within the ever-changing mental health field. She is also one of the primary individual therapists for the BTRC intensive programs. 
During her leisure time, Jessica enjoys reading fiction novels, embarking on outdoor adventures, exploring new restaurants, and nurturing connections with her loved ones.
 
RESOURCES:
Do you Suffer from Betrayal Trauma? Take the free Assessment: 
https://partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/partner-betrayal-trauma-tests/
Do you struggle with sex addiction? Take the free assessment:
https://new.recoveryzone.com/PublicSurvey/SAST
SLAA is a 12-step program for individuals struggling with sex and love addiction: 
https://slaafws.org
 
Institutions & Professional Networks
IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals)
Founded by Dr. Patrick Carnes, IITAP offers specialized training for therapists working with betrayal trauma and sex addiction.
Look for therapists certified as CPTT (Certified Partner Trauma Therapist) or CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist).
🔗 https://iitap.com
▶️ Find a CPTT near you
APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists)
Focuses exclusively on partner trauma—not codependency. They train therapists and coaches in the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM).
APSATS validates that betrayal trauma is real, complex, and requires partner-centered treatment.
🔗 https://www.apsats.org
The Meadows (Wickenburg, AZ)
One of the most respected trauma and addiction recovery centers in the U.S.
Offers:
Gentle Path for sex addiction recovery (founded on Carnes’ work)
Survivors & Betrayal Bond workshops
Healing Intimate Treason (for betrayed partners)
🔗 https://www.themeadows.com
Books & Recovery Workbooks
The Betrayal Bond – by Dr. Patrick Carnes
Explores trauma bonds that keep people stuck in harmful relationships. Offers recovery steps.
🔗 Carnes' Website
Facing Heartbreak – by Stefanie Carnes, Mari Lee, and Anthony Rodriguez
A compassionate workbook specifically for betrayed partners of sex addicts.
🔗 Available on Amazon and recovery resource sites
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – by Barbara Steffens & Marsha Means
One of the first books to challenge the codependency model and affirm betrayal trauma as a trauma, not a pathology.
Podcasts & Online Support
Betrayal Trauma Recovery (BTR.org)
Founded by Anne Blythe, BTR offers:
Free podcast interviews
Daily online support groups
1:1 coaching with trauma-informed professionals
🔗 https://www.btr.org
Bloom for Women
Offers an online healing platform with guided courses, webinars, and a therapist directory.
Includes education on gaslighting, emotional abuse, betrayal trauma, and rebuilding self-trust.
🔗 https://www.bloomforwomen.com
Supportive Coaching & Group Programs
BraveOne by Coach Sarah Morales – braveone.com
Hope After Betrayal – hopeafterbetrayal.com
PartnerHope – therapy and intensives by Dr. Jake and JoAnn Porter (https://daringventures.com)
Apps for Journaling and Grounding
Sanvello or Calm – for anxiety and mindfulness
Reclaim – a journal and recovery planner for betrayed partners
Intimate Treason Journal App – based on Healing from Intimate Treason

Anatomy of Betrayal: The Case of Dr. Jean-Claude Dominique

When Dr. Jean-Claude Dominique was struck in a late-night hit-and-run, his Queens community mourned the loss of a respected OB-GYN, devoted father, and loving husband. His wife, Eliette, stood by as he lay in a coma—unaware that the real impact of that night was only just beginning.
What first appeared to be a tragic accident quickly unraveled into a web of forged documents, double lives, and competing claims of marriage. As the investigation deepened, Eliette found herself blindsided by a betrayal no one could’ve predicted—one that would shatter families and ultimately end in violence.
This week on Wildcide, we unravel the hidden life of a man living in plain sight—and the woman who had to reclaim her reality from the wreckage. Then, join us Friday (5/22) for a powerful follow-up interview with Dr. Jessica Lamar, a betrayal trauma expert, who unpacks the psychological fallout when the person you trust most turns out to be a stranger.
If you want to support us, subscribe, rate and review on your favorite podcast listening app!
Want to recommend a wild case or just give us a 'hey!'? Contact us at Wildcidepodcast@gmail.com
Buy Merch!: www.wildcidepodcast.com 
Updates on Instagram: @wildcidepodcast
Facebook: Wildcide Podcast
Don’t forget Wildcide Wednesdays- new episodes drop every Wednesday at 6am EST. Interviews will drop every other Friday at 6am EST.
Background music by Brad Parsons at Train Sound Studio. Art for the podcast was created by Kelly Steen. 
​WILDCIDE Podcast and any content posted is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. 
References:

How a Crime Novel Solved a Murder: The Case of Dariusz Janiszewski

It began with a body. In December 2000, the remains of a missing man surfaced in the Oder River in southwestern Poland. Dariusz Janiszewski—a young entrepreneur who had vanished weeks earlier—was found floating in the river by three fishermen. He was bound by rope in a ‘reverse hog tie’ position with evidence that he’d been starved, tortured and then dumped in the icy river while he was still alive. The brutality of the murder left investigators stunned. But despite the shocking nature of the crime, the case quickly went cold. For three years, there were no suspects, no motive, and no answers—just a trail that led nowhere.
That is, until Detective Jacek Wroblewski felt an unshakable pull to reopen the case—and stumbled onto something bizarre.... a novel. A dark, unsettling piece of crime fiction that described a murder with eerie similarities to the unsolved death of Dariusz Janiszewski. The book’s author? Krystian Bala, a former PhD student with a warped fascination for nihilism and philosophy. Was this fiction mimicking life? Or was it a real-life murder disguised as literature?
The investigation proceeds to unfold like a psychological thriller, filled with disturbing clues, academic arrogance, and an intellectual game of cat and mouse. It was an investigation that brought together psychology, clues from a crime novel, and digital forensics.  
In this episode, we dive into one of the most bizarre and unsettling murders in modern European history—a story that blurs the line between art and evidence, and forces us to ask: what kind of person writes a story that may reveal the truth behind a real-life killing?
 
If you want to support us, subscribe, rate and review on your favorite podcast listening app!
Want to recommend a wild case or just give us a 'hey!'? Contact us at Wildcidepodcast@gmail.com
Buy Merch!: www.wildcidepodcast.com 
Updates on Instagram: @wildcidepodcast
Facebook: Wildcide Podcast
Don’t forget Wildcide Wednesdays- new episodes drop every Wednesday at 6am EST. Interviews will drop every other Friday at 6am EST.
Background music by Brad Parsons at Train Sound Studio. Art for the podcast was created by Kelly Steen. 
​WILDCIDE Podcast and any content posted is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. 
References:
Grann, D. (2008, February 11). True crime: A postmodern murder mystery. The New Yorker.https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2008/02/11/true-crimeStruzińska, K. (2020). The murderer as writer, storyteller and protagonist: The case of Krystian Bala. International Journal for theSemiotics of Law, 33(2), 447–472.https://doi.org/10.1007/s11196-020-09685-x

Sex Addiction vs. Sex Offending with Tamara Cooper, CSAT

Sex addiction is often misunderstood, sensationalized, or dismissed altogether—but what’s the truth behind it? In this episode, we sit down with Tamara Cooper, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), to unpack the often-misunderstood world of sex addiction. Together, we draw a clear line between compulsive sexual behavior and criminal sexual offending—emphasizing the critical roles of consent, legality, and boundaries. Tamara explains how sex addiction is not about desire or impulse alone; it’s a complex intimacy disorder deeply rooted in unresolved trauma, particularly childhood attachment trauma. We discuss how shame, secrecy, and distorted coping mechanisms can entrench the cycle—and why it’s essential to approach this topic with empathy, not judgment. Whether you're new to the conversation or trying to better understand someone you love, this episode challenges assumptions and offers real insight into a topic most people avoid.
About Tamara Cooper:
Tamara Cooper, LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, is the Director of Family Services at Seeking Integrity Los Angeles. With a decade of experience in the addiction recovery field and nearly three years specializing in sex addiction and betrayal trauma, Tamara brings both clinical expertise and deep compassion to her work. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, she works closely with men in inpatient treatment while also supporting the healing journeys of their betrayed partners. Tamara is passionate about helping women reclaim their strength and identity after betrayal, and she finds immense purpose in witnessing their growth and transformation. Her work is grounded in empathy, integrity, and a commitment to holistic recovery for individuals and families.
 
Contact Tamara:
tamara@seekingintegrity.com
Tamara Cooper, Clinical Social Work/Therapist, Owensboro, KY, 42303 | Psychology Today
 
Betrayal Trauma Resources:
Dr. Kevin Skinner: https://www.drkevinskinner.com/about
 
Do you Suffer from Betrayal Trauma? Take the free Assessment: 
https://partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/partner-betrayal-trauma-tests/
 
Do you struggle with sex addiction? Take the free assessment:
https://new.recoveryzone.com/PublicSurvey/SAST
 
Treatment Resources:
Sex Addiction & Drug Addiction Treatment | Seeking Integrity
Home | Treatment for Sexual Addiction | Gentle Path at The Meadows
SLAA is a 12-step program for individuals struggling with sex and love addiction: 
https://slaafws.org
Patrick Carnes (“father of sex addiction therapy) website with many books and resources: 
https://www.drpatrickcarnes.com
Stefanie Carnes is a leader in the betrayal trauma arena:
https://stefaniecarnes.com
International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals Find a therapist tool:
https://iitap.com/page/TherapistDirectory
S-Anon is a 12-step program that provides support for family and friends of sex addicts:
https://sanon.org
 

Fall of a Titan: The Murder of Steve "Air" McNair

On July 4, 2009, the world woke up to shocking headlines: beloved NFL quarterback Steve McNair had been found dead in a Nashville condo, alongside 20-year-old Sahel “Jenni” Kazemi. What first looked like a mystery quickly unraveled into a tragic tale of obsession, secrecy, and emotional unraveling.
To fans, McNair was the embodiment of grit—a decorated athlete, a husband, and a father of four. But beneath the surface, his life was divided between the roles he played and the impulses he couldn’t seem to outrun. Lavish gifts, secret properties, and multiple women—all carefully tucked away from his public image—painted a portrait of a man at war with himself.
This week, we break down the events leading up to the murder-suicide that shocked the nation. Then, we’re joined by Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Tamara, who helps us unpack the psychological and relational damage caused by sexual compulsivity. She guides us through the difference between a double life and a disorder, what it means for betrayed partners, and why so many people still misunderstand sex addiction today.
This isn’t just a story about a sports icon. It’s a story about secrets, trauma, and what happens when the mask finally slips.
 
Resources:
The Athlete Identity Project
Mental Health & Crisis Support:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.):Call or text 988 for free, 24/7 confidential support for anyone in emotional distress or suicidal crisis.988lifeline.org
Crisis Text Line:Text HELLO to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor. Available 24/7.www.crisistextline.org
NAMI HelpLine (National Alliance on Mental Illness):Call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or text "HelpLine" to 62640 for free mental health support and resources.www.nami.org/help
Sexual Compulsivity & Sex Addiction Support:
SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous):A 12-step recovery program for individuals struggling with compulsive sexual behavior.www.saa-recovery.org
Sexual Health Alliance:Offers non-shaming, clinically-informed education and resources around sexual behavior and compulsivity.www.sexualhealthalliance.com
The International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP):Find a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) or learn more about sex addiction treatment.www.iitap.com
For Partners of Betrayal or Trauma Survivors:
APSATS (The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists):Resources and referrals for betrayed partners.www.apsats.org
Bloom for Women:Online community and courses for women recovering from betrayal trauma.www.bloomforwomen.com
 
References:
Associated Press. (2009, July 16). McNair's death ignites discussions of infidelity. ESPN. https://www.espn.com/nfl/news/story?id=4334826
BBC News. (2018, April 27). Sex addiction: 'Five times a day wasn't enough'. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-43921760
Howard, K., Sarrio, J., & Echegaray, C. (2009, July 3). Steve McNair death podcast: Titans, Nashville, Sahel Kazemi anniversary. The Tennessean. https://www.tennessean.com/story/sports/nfl/titans/2019/07/03/steve-mcnair-death-podcast-titans-nashville-sahel-kazemi-anniversary/1597765001/
Howard, K., Sarrio, J., & Echegaray, C. (2019, July 3). Steve McNair death timeline: The rise and fall of the NFL legend and Sahel Kazemi’s tragic end. The Tennessean. https://www.tennessean.com/story/sports/nfl/titans/2019/07/03/steve-mcnair-death-sahel-jenni-kazemi-timeline/1551927001/
McMullan, J. (n.d.). Steve McNair Biography - Showed Early Signs of Greatness, Glory Years at Alcorn State, Signed with Oilers. Biography.jrank.org. Retrieved May 5, 2025, from https://biography.jrank.org/pages/2358/McNair-Steve.html
Nasaw, D. (2009, July 9). Former NFL star Steve McNair was killed by jealous girlfriend, police say. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2009/jul/09/steve-mcnair-murder-girlfriend
Piccotti, T. (2024, August 20). The complex legacy of NFL quarterback Steve McNair. Biography. https://www.biography.com/athletes/a61916082/steve-mcnair-legacyBiography
Tanner, L. (2017, December 10). Sex cases put spotlight on sex addiction, but is it real? The Clarion-Ledger. https://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/2017/12/10/sex-cases-put-spotlight-sex-addiction-but-real/938632001/The Clarion-Ledger+1The Clarion-Ledger+1
Today. (2024, August 20). Who killed Steve 'Air' McNair? True story behind 'Untold' episode. https://www.today.com/popculture/steve-air-mcnair-murder-true-story-rcna166895
Walters, J. (2017, September 25). Sex addicts see a familiar story in Anthony Weiner's path to ruin. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/sep/25/sex-addicts-recovery-anthony-weiner
Forensic Misuse of Sex Addiction | Psychology Today
McNair, S. (n.d.). Steve McNair Biography. JRank. Retrieved May 2, 2025, from https://biography.jrank.org/pages/2358/McNair-Steve.html
Merrill, E. (2018, February 11). The family Tennessee Titans legend Steve McNair left behind. ESPN. Retrieved May 2, 2025, from https://www.espn.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/22349868/the-family-tennessee-titans-legend-steve-mcnair-left-behind​:contentReference[oaicite:2]{index=2}
Associated Press. (2009, July 29). Agent: McNair left instructions to care for family. ESPN. https://www.espn.com/nfl/news/story?id=4364855

Shortcide: Freakshows—What a Weird Flex

Step right up, folks—today’s Shortcide takes you on a journey through the wonderfully weird (and slightly horrifying) world of historic freak shows! 🎪 We dig into the strange afterlife of Elmer McCurdy, the outlaw who somehow spent more time touring as a mummy than he ever did causing trouble alive. Then, we honor the story of Julia Pastrana, the incredible performer who deserved so much more than the circus life she was given. Expect a mix of history, absurdity, and the occasional “Wait…WHAT?!” moment as we unravel the bizarre ways society used to treat the extraordinary.
Thanks for listening! If you want to support us, you can follow/subscribe to WILDCIDE on your favorite podcast listening app. While you’re there, please rate and leave us a review – we would really appreciate it! You can also visit our website at www.wildcidepodcast.com (merch now available!) Make sure to get updates by following us on Instagram (@wildcidepodcast) and Facebook (Wildcide Podcast). 
Don’t forget Wildcide Wednesdays- new episodes drop every Wednesday at 6am EST. Interviews will drop every other Friday at 6am EST.
Background music by Brad Parsons at Train Sound Studio. Art for the podcast was created by Kelly Steen. 
​WILDCIDE Podcast and any content posted is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions
 
References:
Lovejoy, B. (2014, November 26). Julia Pastrana: A “Monster to the Whole World”. The Public Domain Review. https://publicdomainreview.org/essay/julia-pastrana-a-monster-to-the-whole-world/
Powell, J. M. (2023, September 6). Holy cow! History: The strange afterlife of Elmer McCurdy. NH Journal. https://nhjournal.com/holy-cow-history-the-strange-afterlife-of-elmer-mccurdy/
Stelloh, T. (2013, December 13). Behold! The heartbreaking, hair-raising tale of freak show star Julia Pastrana, Mexico’s monkey woman. BuzzFeed News. https://www.buzzfeed.com/timstelloh/behold-the-heartbreaking-hair-raising-tale-of-julia-pastrana
Thomas, H. (2018, July 24). Elmer McCurdy: Traveling Corpse. Headlines & Heroes. Library of Congress Blogs. https://blogs.loc.gov/headlinesandheroes/2018/07/elmer-mccurdy-traveling-corpse/
Wilson, C. (2013, February 11). Julia Pastrana, who died in 1860, to be buried in Mexico. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/12/arts/design/julia-pastrana-who-died-in-1860-to-be-buried-in-mexico.html

Honor Killings and Honor Based Violence - A Conversation with Sab

In this powerful conversation, Sab sheds light on the hidden dangers of honor-based violence, detailing how it continues to affect countless lives across the world. Through her advocacy, she works to raise awareness, support survivors, and fight for a future where no one has to fear violence in the name of family honor.
Sab's courage to speak out is a reminder that honor killings are not just tragic stories but real, preventable crimes that need urgent attention. This interview is a call to action to stand up against honor-based violence and to ensure the voices of the vulnerable are never silenced again.
About our Special Guest, Sab:
I'm a survivor of child abuse and come from a family of survivors. My mum experienced domestic abuse during many different periods of her life, and I grew up watching her support other women in our community who had been through similar experiences. That shaped so much of who I am and gave me the courage to speak up about my own experiences when friends at school started confiding in me about theirs.
I originally planned to go into law enforcement, but during university, I began volunteering at a Rape Crisis Centre and never looked back. I ended up working there for six years in various roles including Specialist BAMER (Black, Asian, Minority Ethnic and Refugee) Outreach Worker, Helpline Support Worker, Independent Sexual Violence Advocate (ISVA), Prevention Worker, and Trainer. I created prevention programmes for schools and colleges, and worked alongside national organisations like Barnardo’s to raise awareness and support survivors. I also spent a lot of time training professionals from police to healthcare workers on sexual violence and how to respond with compassion and confidence.
Later, I worked with Women’s Aid, supporting women on probation who were also victims of domestic abuse. While I valued my time with these organisations, I often felt that the needs of BAMER survivors were treated as a tick-box, acknowledged, but not deeply understood or embedded into practice.
Today, I’m the Director of Creative Optimistic Visions (COV), a Community Interest Company that uses the Protective Behaviours approach to help individuals and communities feel safer, build resilience, and access support through education, mentoring, and training.
I’m also the founder of Sab Against Abuse a platform dedicated to transforming how professionals understand and respond to abuse within ethnic minority communities. I specialise in training around complex and culturally sensitive issues such as forced marriage, honour-based violence, dowry abuse, female genital mutilation (FGM), and other harmful practices. My goal is to equip professionals with the tools, confidence and cultural awareness to support survivors without judgement, assumptions, or discrimination, because meaningful support starts with understanding.

Honor Killing: The Case of Shafilea Ahmed

In 2003, Shafilea Ahmed, a 17-year-old British-Pakistani girl, was killed in a brutal act that shocked the world. Behind the walls of a seemingly ordinary family home, Shafilea's desire for independence clashed with her parents' rigid expectations, leading to a tragic and deadly end.
Raised in a family where cultural traditions were enforced without question, Shafilea's growing desire to live life on her own terms set her on a dangerous path. Her defiance of arranged marriage plans and rejection of traditional roles would come at an unimaginable cost.
When Shafilea went missing, her parents quickly reported it as an unfortunate disappearance, but the truth was far darker than anyone could have imagined. It wasn’t until months later when some workers found Shafilea's dismembered remains when investigators began to piece together the shocking events leading to her death.
The case of Shafilea Ahmed is one of heartbreaking betrayal—a reminder of the devastating consequences of honor-based violence and the silencing of young women in the name of tradition. It serves as a wake-up call to the need for greater awareness and action to prevent honor killings, ensuring that no one, especially young women, should ever feel that their only choice is death for the sake of family “honor.”
 
**Tune in on Friday April 25th to listen to our interview with Sab, a childhood abuse survivor and advocate against Honor Based Violence.**
 
Thanks for listening! If you want to support us, you can follow/subscribe to WILDCIDE on your favorite podcast listening app. While you’re there, please rate and leave us a review – we would really appreciate it! You can also visit our website at www.wildcidepodcast.com (merch now available!) Make sure to get updates by following us on Instagram (@wildcidepodcast) and Facebook (Wildcide Podcast). 
Don’t forget Wildcide Wednesdays- new episodes drop every Wednesday at 6am EST. Interviews will drop every other Friday at 6am EST.
Background music by Brad Parsons at Train Sound Studio. Art for the podcast was created by Kelly Steen. 
​WILDCIDE Podcast and any content posted is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. 
References:
BBC News. (2012, August 3). Shafilea Ahmed: Parents jailed for life for murder. BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-19119014
BBC News. (2012, May 24). Shafilea sister talks of 'relief'. BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-18194131
BBC News. (2012, May 22). Stephen Lawrence murder: Timeline of key events. BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-18161066
BBC News. (2012, May 18). Shafilea Ahmed: Parents guilty of murdering daughter. BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-18144095
Manchester Evening News. (2023, July 19). 20 years since Shafilea Ahmed's murder: What happened to the case and those involved? Manchester Evening News. https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/20-years-shafilea-ahmed-murder-27321857
The Guardian. (2012, August 3). Shafilea Ahmed: A life and death timeline. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2012/aug/03/shafilea-ahmed-life-death-timeline
The Guardian. (2012, August 3). Shafilea Ahmed: Parents guilty of murder. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2012/aug/03/shafilea-ahmed-parents-guilty-murder
The Independent. (2018, July 20). Murderer Iftikhar Ahmed abandoned son and Danish first wife to follow through with arranged marriage to Shafilea's mother, Farzana. The Independent. https://www.the-independent.com/news/uk/crime/murderer-iftikhar-ahmed-abandoned-son-and-danish-first-wife-to-follow-through-with-arranged-marriage-to-shafilea-s-mother-farzana-8005441.html
Wales Online. (2023, July 26). ITV1's Murder Without Honour: Full story of Shafilea Ahmed’s tragic death and her parents’ conviction. Wales Online. https://www.walesonline.co.uk/lifestyle/tv/itv1-murder-without-honours-full-30882659
West Yorkshire Police. (n.d.). National Day of Remembrance for Honour-Based Violence: The Shafilea Ahmed story. West Yorkshire Police. https://www.westyorkshire.police.uk/advice/relationships/national-day-remembrance-honour-based-violence-shafilea-ahmed-story/national-day-remembrance-honour-based-violence-shafilea-ahmed-story
Warrington Guardian. (2022, February 21). A decade since parents convicted of Shafilea Ahmed murder. Warrington Guardian. https://www.warringtonguardian.co.uk/news/20595190.decade-since-parents-convicted-shafilea-ahmed-murder/

A Love Quadrangle: The Murder of Bruce Saunders

What happens when love turns deadly? Sharon Graham found herself at the center of a tangled web of emotions, caught between not one, but three men—each unknowingly playing a role in a twisted and dangerous plot. At the heart of this tragic story is Bruce Saunders, a well-liked butcher whose life would be taken by those he trusted most.
As Sharon’s desires and emotions ran wild, her relationship with Greg Roser and Peter Koenig, two men she called lovers, escalated into something far darker than any of them could have predicted. What seemed like a complicated love triangle quickly morphed into a chilling act of betrayal, as Sharon orchestrated a plan that would result in Bruce’s shocking and untimely death.
Bailey and Chelsea unravel the emotional undercurrents of a case where love, jealousy, and manipulation created a deadly storm. Bruce’s tragic fate is not just about a murder—it’s about how far someone will go when revenge and deceit take the place of affection.
Dive into the disturbing details of a crime where the lines between love and betrayal blurred with deadly consequences. The truth behind this twisted love quadrangle is more sinister than anyone could have imagined.
 
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Background music by Brad Parsons at Train Sound Studio. Art for the podcast was created by Kelly Steen. 
​WILDCIDE Podcast and any content posted is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. 
References:
Antrobus, B. (2023, November 11). ‘It’s just got to be done’: Woman’s six words which sparked heinous plot to murder ex in woodchipper. News.com.au. https://www.news.com.au/national/queensland/crime/there-will-be-an-accident-murderers-chilling-claim-weeks-before-expartner-fed-to-woodchipper-in-heinous-plot/news-story/39c0baa1a6f8d0947bc36b8c33d749db
Antrobus, B. (2023, October 28). ‘Deep-seated psychopathy’: Judge lashes woodchipper murderer Sharon Graham as evil request to son revealed. News.com.au. https://www.news.com.au/national/queensland/courts-law/sharon-graham-found-guilty-of-heinous-woodchipper-murder-of-expartner-bruce-saunders/news-story/59d3bd18dad38812ac5284dcfb2a8d92​news
Australian Associated Press. (2022, September 19). Man found dead in woodchipper had unwittingly become part of ‘love quadrangle’, Queensland court hears. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/sep/19/man-found-dead-in-woodchipper-bruce-saunders-love-quadrangle-gympie-queensland-court-told​
Brisbane Times. (2022, September 28). 'I hit the stop button … to leave a bit of Bruce out for the police to see'. https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/i-hit-the-stop-button-to-leave-a-bit-of-bruce-out-for-the-police-to-see-20220928-p5blnn.html
Crockford, T. (2022, September 20). Woodchipper murder accused ‘didn’t want to be with him, but he had money’. Brisbane Times. https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/woodchipper-murder-accused-didn-t-want-to-be-with-him-but-he-had-money-20220920-p5bjh6.html
Crockford, T. (2022, September 19). Couple part of ‘love quadrangle’ on trial over alleged woodchipper killing. Brisbane Times. https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/couple-part-of-love-quadrangle-on-trial-over-alleged-woodchipper-killing-20220919-p5bj99.html
Daily Mail Australia. (2023, October 27). 'Woodchipper murder' Sharon Graham's final post. Daily Mail. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12903047/woodchipper-murder-Sharon-Graham-final-post.html
Daily Mail Australia. (2018, May 29). Photos emerge of two people charged with murder of Bruce Saunders who died in woodchipper. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5781343/Photos-emerge-two-people-charged-murder-Bruce-Saunders-died-woodchipper.html
Lavelle, L. (2023, October 9). Sharon Graham pleads not guilty to murder of Bruce Saunders, whose body was fed through woodchipper near Gympie. ABC News. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-10-09/queensland-woodchipper-trial-sharon-graham-bruce-saunders/102950598
Lavelle, L. (2023, October 27). Sharon Graham's sinister web of sex and deception ended in the bloody murder of Bruce Saunders. ABC News. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-10-28/qld-woodchipper-murder-trial-sharon-graham-gregory-roser/103024716
McKenna, K. (2023, October 27). Sharon Graham on trial for murder of ex-lover Bruce Saunders. The Australian. https://www.theaustralian.com.au/breaking-news/sharon-graham-on-trial-for-murder-of-exlover-bruce-saunders/news-story/33528c966a1e3c7effce706d2cbe6a9a
Remeikis, A. (2023, October 10). Ex-partner was the ‘architect’ of gruesome woodchipper plot, Queensland court told. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/oct/10/ex-partner-was-the-architect-of-gruesome-woodchipper-plot-queensland-court-told