Betrayal Trauma with Dr. Jessica Lamar

Last interview, we sat down with Tamara Cooper to discuss compulsive sexual behavior. The question remained: what happens to the partners after betrayal? So this week, we sit down with Jessica Lamar, CPTT (Certified Partner Trauma Therapist) for an eye-opening conversation on betrayal trauma—the profound impact of infidelity and sex addiction on partners. Jessica brings years of clinical expertise to the table as we unpack the difference between sex addiction and infidelity, explore the trauma responses that often follow discovery, and discuss what healing actually looks like. If you've ever wondered how to support someone reeling from betrayal—or how to recognize unhealthy patterns masked as "normal"—this interview is a must-listen.

About Our Honored Guest: Jessica Lamar Psy.D, LMHC, LPC, CPTT 

Jessica, the Co-Founder and Director of Business Development and Strategy at the Bellevue Trauma Recovery Center (BTRC), holds a Doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology from the Arizona School of Professional Psychology. As a Licensed Mental Health Therapist in Washington and Colorado States, Jessica has dedicated her career to supporting individuals and families through traumatic circumstances and life-changing transitions in forensic, intensive, and outpatient settings.

Jessica’s clinical focus centers around honoring the grief process during significant life-altering changes, particularly Betrayal Trauma. She firmly believes that BTRC’s intensive trauma-informed treatment model offers a much-needed space for meaningful and supportive processing of Trauma.

Alongside her passion for education, Jessica leads webinars and engages in speaking engagements that shed light on the intersection of Disenfranchised Grief and Betrayal Trauma.

As a certified ETT therapist and a certified partner trauma therapist, Jessica utilizes an attachment-based, interpersonal therapy model to facilitate rapid trauma recovery effectively. Additionally, she possesses extensive training and experience in the treatment of problematic sexual behaviors/sex addiction, acknowledging the range of distressing and disruptive experiences that these behaviors can evoke in individuals. She believes this knowledge is essential for effectively supporting and treating individuals through a supportive recovery process from the impact of Betrayal Trauma.

As the Director of Business Development and Strategy at BTRC, Jessica focuses on cultivating community connections, providing psychoeducation to other professionals, developing plans to enhance BTRC’s overall performance, and implementing feedback to ensure the provision of effective and contemporary treatment approaches. Jessica takes pride in guiding BTRC towards evolution and growth within the ever-changing mental health field. She is also one of the primary individual therapists for the BTRC intensive programs. 

During her leisure time, Jessica enjoys reading fiction novels, embarking on outdoor adventures, exploring new restaurants, and nurturing connections with her loved ones.

 

RESOURCES:

Do you Suffer from Betrayal Trauma? Take the free Assessment: 

https://partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/partner-betrayal-trauma-tests/

Do you struggle with sex addiction? Take the free assessment:

https://new.recoveryzone.com/PublicSurvey/SAST

SLAA is a 12-step program for individuals struggling with sex and love addiction: 

https://slaafws.org

 

Institutions & Professional Networks

IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals)

• Founded by Dr. Patrick Carnes, IITAP offers specialized training for therapists working with betrayal trauma and sex addiction.
• Look for therapists certified as CPTT (Certified Partner Trauma Therapist) or CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist).
• 🔗 https://iitap.com
• ▶️ Find a CPTT near you

APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists)

• Focuses exclusively on partner trauma—not codependency. They train therapists and coaches in the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM).
• APSATS validates that betrayal trauma is real, complex, and requires partner-centered treatment.
• 🔗 https://www.apsats.org

The Meadows (Wickenburg, AZ)

• One of the most respected trauma and addiction recovery centers in the U.S.
• Offers:
  • Gentle Path for sex addiction recovery (founded on Carnes’ work)
  • Survivors & Betrayal Bond workshops
  • Healing Intimate Treason (for betrayed partners)
• 🔗 https://www.themeadows.com

Books & Recovery Workbooks

The Betrayal Bond – by Dr. Patrick Carnes

• Explores trauma bonds that keep people stuck in harmful relationships. Offers recovery steps.
• 🔗 Carnes' Website

Facing Heartbreak – by Stefanie Carnes, Mari Lee, and Anthony Rodriguez

• A compassionate workbook specifically for betrayed partners of sex addicts.
• 🔗 Available on Amazon and recovery resource sites

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – by Barbara Steffens & Marsha Means

• One of the first books to challenge the codependency model and affirm betrayal trauma as a trauma, not a pathology.

Podcasts & Online Support

Betrayal Trauma Recovery (BTR.org)

• Founded by Anne Blythe, BTR offers:
  • Free podcast interviews
  • Daily online support groups
  • 1:1 coaching with trauma-informed professionals
• 🔗 https://www.btr.org

Bloom for Women

• Offers an online healing platform with guided courses, webinars, and a therapist directory.
• Includes education on gaslighting, emotional abuse, betrayal trauma, and rebuilding self-trust.
• 🔗 https://www.bloomforwomen.com

Supportive Coaching & Group Programs

• BraveOne by Coach Sarah Morales – braveone.com
• Hope After Betrayal – hopeafterbetrayal.com
• PartnerHope – therapy and intensives by Dr. Jake and JoAnn Porter (https://daringventures.com)

Apps for Journaling and Grounding

• Sanvello or Calm – for anxiety and mindfulness
• Reclaim – a journal and recovery planner for betrayed partners
• Intimate Treason Journal App – based on Healing from Intimate Treason